Groundhog Day is stupid! I’m just going to say that right out loud.
Punxsutawney Phil just predicted six more weeks of winter. With the exception of winter athletes and the good people of Punxsutawney,PA I can’t think of anyone who would be happy about this. Plus, it is a holiday full of lies! There is no way an animal from the rodent family can predict the weather. And even if it could, how could it possibly know what will happen in the Pacific Northwest from its little stump in Pennsylvania.
Now I do not mind made up holidays. I enjoy Talk Like a Pirate Day, Star Wars Day, and Adopt a Shelter Pet Day. I can really get behind Chocolate Cake Day, Barbecue Ribs Day, and Take Your Teddy Bear to Work Day. They, and many more like them, exist to make us smile and do something fun. Groundhog Day exists to dash our hopes and dreams of decent weather. The groundhog NEVER has good news and the holiday should be abolished immediately. We should replace it with something better.
I propose that from this point February 2 should become a National Snow Day. Whether you have snow or not, everyone gets a day off. Everything is closed and we all stay home eating popcorn, drinking hot chocolate, and watching Disney movies. Who’s with me?
I am headed back to bed for six more weeks of pouting.