Now before you Google this and check it out on Snopes, let me just clarify that this mystery only applies to me. To my knowledge this doesn’t happen to anyone else, just me. I seem unable to ride Jungle Cruise. For many and varied reasons over the years I haven’t been on the ride: the line was too long, no one else wanted to ride it, it was closed, The Princess (in her younger years) had hit a wall and we needed to leave. The list goes on. It doesn’t help that I am the only person in the family who truly likes the ride. Though, in fairness, I don’t think The Princess has ever been on it. But the fact remains I have not been able to get one the ride since 1992. But I was going to change all that. This year I had a plan.
On our most recent trip we had The Duchess with us and one of our touring priorities was getting her onto as many classic Disney rides as possible. We wanted her to have a good solid experience of the Disney Parks basics. I leveraged that priority into a willingness to use one of our FastPass selections on Jungle Cruise. It was also a nice calm ride we could do after our graduation celebration dinner. It was a win-win.
So there we were on Day One after dinner, Fastpasses in hand, heading to the Jungle Cruise. We walked up to the line and the sky opened. Undeterred we whipped out our rain gear and entered the FastPass line. We were under cover, waiting for the worst to pass when the first lightning hit. After more lightning and a safety announcement the ride was closed. We got universal FastPasses that we could use on any ride or attraction but we could not ride Jungle Cruise. It was at this point I realized that I was cursed.
I have no great lesson in this today. There is no underlying issue to expose. I am simply banned by the universe from riding Jungle Cruise. I don’t know why. I may never know why. I have heard rumors of a Jungle Cruise movie. I am nervous.